Saturday, January 23, 2010

Welcome to the 21st Century, Andrea. Nice to have you with us.

So, it happened again.

First, I should explain about my televisions. They are old. Both of them. Yep, I still live in the world of analog when it comes to my television sets. They are both more square than rectangular. They both have a curved surface screen. Without Directv, neither would pick up a signal of any kind, let alone a digital one. And as much as I love television, watching television, watching movies, my DVR, and the look of the Planet Earth series on a 60" plasma screen, I flat out (no pun intended) refuse to pay more than $200 for a television. So, my TVs are old.

And they are small. I have high hopes for bigger screens, but I have to wait until Heinz gets a new TV. You see, how it works is Heinz gets a new TV. The old one moves into Mother’s living room. The TV in the living room moves up to the den. The TV in the den then moves into the back of my truck and on to my living room. The one in my living room moves into my bedroom. And the one in my bedroom goes to the highest bidder. Okay, so the only way to even get charities to take it is to leave it at their back door, knock and run before they make me take it back! So, until Heinz gets a new TV, I’m stuck with analog.

“What does that mean to the average viewer?” you ask. Here is where my story gets its meat.

Now days, television shows are shot in an HD format, or what you might call a wide screen. They are shot to fit within the space of the new televisions. The digital receiving, HD ready, flat screens. Most times the action of the shot occurs in what we call “TV”, the smaller screen, and those who have the wider will get more background or more of the shoulder of an actor in the corner of the screen. Every now and then, much to my chagrin, the action will take place in “HD” - a.k.a. the space that is outside the scope of my TV screen.

The first time this phenomena happened, I was watching my favorite show, Glee. It’s a fantastic show. I encourage everyone to watch. Anyway, coming out of a commercial, the screen fills with what I think is an establishing shot, that first shot of the scene that introduces the setting before the actors appear and start talking. But the establishing shot is going on for a long time. It’s just a shot of a football field. Nobody is there yet. But I can hear them talking. Sometimes they do this. You see an empty set and hear the actors talk right before they appear in the scene. But the actors never appear. They keep talking. Then a football flies across the screen. Then it flies back. This goes on for the better part of the scene. I am dumfounded. What’s going on?! What is wrong with the picture?

That is when it hit me. There is nothing wrong with the picture. It’s my old TV. If only I had a wider screen I would see clearly the actors, throwing the football back and forth to each other from opposite sides, in “HD”. Once I realize what is going on, I just laugh. I work in television production. I watch the monitors, so I see what goes on in “HD” verses “TV”. I also know that for the most part, directors try to keep the action in “TV”. It is a bold director who puts both actors in “HD”, successfully hiding them from the analog watching viewer. We don’t all have the new TVs yet. I guess if that scene was any indication of what is to come, I will have to either break down and buy a new tv, or get really good at recognizing voices!

It has been a while since that scene. I have watched a lot of television since, but haven’t had a recurrence. Until tonight. Supernatural. Another great show I highly recommend. End of the show. Poignant and touching scene. Dean sits to address his long time friend in a wheelchair and tell him how much he means to him. Except, all I see is Dean talking to the wall. The friend completely gone, hidden from my sight line, in “HD”.

In closing, I leave you with this thought:

Heinz! I think there is a big TV sale going on down at the Best Buy this weekend! You should definitely check it out.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

An Open Appology - The Lady and the Dog

I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for the lack of actual blogging going on on this page. Remember, I am new at this whole form of communication. I cannot decide what is the best story to start with. And then there is the whole task of editing said story, etc. So I leave you with this short tale. Apologies again for lack of any excitement therein. And there really wasn't much editing or rewriting. I mean it. The following story is in no way representative of essays to come. Okay. Well, maybe it is. I really don't know what I'm doing. And this story will serve to prove that point beyond a doubt. But wanted you to have at least something to read. Enjoy. But, please, don't judge.

The Lady and the Dog.

A couple of days ago*, while driving in my car (Sorry. Redundant. Really, where else would I be driving?), I saw the funniest thing. A lady all in white (white shirt, white tank, white capris, and a white handbag) was being attacked by some sort of tiny yappy Yorkie dog. From what I could tell, the dog had a hold of a corner of her handbag and would not let go. She was running and carrying on as if the dog was Cujo, complete with blood dripping from his canines! The owner was chasing after the little dog, trying to catch him, but the lady kept running away. She ran out into the street (Vermont) and all the way across four lanes, dog in tow, before either the dog let go or the owner got him. Hard to tell. I was watching most of it from my rear view mirror. Lucky for her, and the dog, it was early morning and there was no traffic. She did not even look before backing into the street. She was flailing as if she was in mortal danger. As if some great white shark had a hold of her and was about to swallow her whole. ( I will take this opportunity to admit to too much Shark Week.) It was just a tiny yappy dog. And the poor owner, trying to grab the dog. If only the lady had stood her ground, I’m sure the owner would have pried the dog loose much sooner. It was the craziest thing. Unreal. Like out of a movie except if you ever saw it in a movie you would say, “That’s preposterous! Nothing like that would ever happen. No one would ever react so violently to a Yorkie!”

I take that back. I know several people who live in close proximity to a Yorkie, and their reactions and thoughts are always of a violent nature. I guess the Yorkie just brings out the evil in mankind. Hmmm. Maybe the hound of hell is not a Rottweiler at all, but a Yorkie!

* Bold face lie. I wrote this sometime last August.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Are You Happy Now?!

At the constant badgering of my entire family and coterie of friends, I am finally starting a blog. I imagine they all assume that if I have an outlet for my observations (read: rants), I will stop calling and bothering them.

How wrong they are. Now, they will be tormented with draft after draft of my postings pre-posting. (I am much too insecure to post before feedback and spell check!)

Good Luck to us all!

(Get used to it. I sign everything this way. A habit I cannot, and will not break.)

P.S. Is "coterie of friends" redundant?